I was heartened to learn of WAA’s recent decision to change its name from “Westtown Alumni Association” to “Westtown Alums Association.” As the WAA Board had noted prior to the decision, “‘Alumni,’ the word we currently use, is the plural masculine form of the Latin word alumnus/a. Traditionally, ‘alumni’ has been used as a collective noun for all genders but is currently perceived as a word that refers primarily to men. In order to be explicitly gender-inclusive, Westtown had been using ‘alumni/ae/x’ to refer to groups of alums. However, to simplify the gender-inclusive terminology, Westtown adopted the convention of using ‘alum/alums.’ These terms are accepted by Merriam-Webster and the AP Style Guide (among others) as gender-neutral alternatives to ‘alumni.’” 

Before the WAA meeting, I had heard from a number of Westtown’s LGBTQ+ community members about how the change from “alumni” —or even “alumni/ae/x”—to the more inclusive “alums” impacts their own feelings of belonging. I want to provide my own perspective as to why this change matters, as this may seem so minor an alteration that some community members may question whether it’s worth changing a longstanding, traditional term.

A growing body of research discusses the impact of gendered languages on our minds, behaviors, and societies. In one series of studies, economists Pamela Jakiela and Owen Ozier at the World Bank explored the relationship between the grammatical structure of 4,334 languages and outcomes for women around the world–female labor force participation, educational achievement, and gender norms. They looked specifically at whether people spoke languages that were gendered (with masculine and feminine noun forms) or languages without such forms. After controlling for geographic and economic factors, they found that women in societies that use gendered language are 15% less likely to participate in the labor force relative to men, and both women and men who speak gendered languages are more likely to agree with more traditional gender roles (for example, that university education is more important for boys than girls, and that men make better political leaders and business executives than women). In four countries where both gendered and non-gendered Indigenous languages are spoken, speaking a gendered native language is associated with lower labor force participation and educational attainment for women compared with men. How could language exert such an impact on society? Recent research based in Sweden indicates “compared with masculine pronouns, use of gender-neutral pronouns decreases the mental salience of males. This shift is associated with individuals expressing less bias in favor of traditional gender roles and categories, as reflected in more favorable attitudes toward women and LGBT individuals in public life.”

Specifically focused on trans and nonbinary people, a study in Australia demonstrated that the use of inclusive language was directly related to the wellbeing of trans employees. This study fits within a larger body of work indicating that use of inclusive language is key to the wellbeing of transgender, gender diverse, and non-binary individuals in the workforce, as well as gender expansive adolescents in school environments.

As someone who studied Latin for six years, I do sympathize with people who may be attached to linguistic traditions. But the shift towards less gendered language also has deep roots. Long before American society shifted from “fireman” to “firefighter” and from “stewardess” to “flight attendant,” English itself shifted from Old English, a language with strict grammatical genders, to Middle English, a language without. Worldwide, languages are currently shifting to become more gender-inclusive.

Besides accommodating the preferences of historically marginalized members of the current alum community, the WAA decision sends an honest signal to current Westtown students and others about the value we place on being a community that lives out its commitment to “seek out and honor God in each of us”, as our Mission statement declares. Particularly at a time in which the human rights of transgender individuals are under legislative assault, such signals are very much needed and welcome.

Louisa Egan Brad
Dean of Equity, Justice, and Belonging 

New beginnings are exciting! They become exciting to us because they offer the promise of hope, the anticipation of change in our lives, and the prospect that our dreams will indeed come true! Squire Rushnell, When God Winks on New Beginnings

Indeed, there is a buzzing energy reverberating in the homes of school-aged children just about this time of year. Whether your child is embarking on the wonder and magical days of kindergarten or they are a senior in high school entering the “last first day” of a year of countless “lasts,” the beginning of the school year is full of hopes and dreams as well as the to-be-expected sensations of jitters and butterflies in the belly.

With fall on the horizon, familiar back-to-school tips are emerging on the Internet from myriad organizations. One of the most popular tips, of course, is the importance of establishing routines at home before the start of school by making sure there are laminated lists of bedtime and morning rituals to be checked off by the children, offering them a sense of agency and mastery. I thought I would share a few thoughts for parents to reflect upon, ways to communicate to their school-aged children not just at the beginning of this school year but throughout the year.

As a psychologist working with school-age children morning, noon, and night (yes that’s right, school is not over when you have over 270 boarding students who live at the school), there are some messages that I find myself repeating in some form or another throughout the year. I find that these messages help children of all ages. Please feel free to adapt the language in a way that is developmentally appropriate for your child.

• Don’t be afraid to make mistakes! Mistakes are a natural and necessary part of learning.
• Give yourself permission to excel in some areas and struggle in others. Remember that your strengths are there to help your weaknesses out.
• Perfection is just simply overrated. Consider being unapologetically you, which is by far the best version of yourself, imperfections and all.
• Whether in class or on the athletic field, don’t compare yourself to others; evaluate your own strengths, growth, and achievements in relation to yourself. You will grow much more this way, and achieve your goals with greater success.
• Surround yourself with school friends that support you. Like oil and water, sometimes we don’t always mix well with some schoolmates. Be courteous to them, of course, but move on.
• Be gentle and kind to yourself, because you will have tough moments in class, at recess, or on dorm. When you are gentle and kind to yourself you move through tough times more smoothly. A byproduct of this approach is that you will also be more understanding and compassionate toward others.
• Ask yourself daily: Who do I want to be and how do I want to behave today? Set an intention at the beginning of each day and notice how things flow.
• Remember to take a few moments in the day to take some deep breaths. Those little pauses can nourish your body and your mind.
• Welcome anxiety when it comes to visit your belly or your head before an exam or when the teacher calls on you. Instead of running away from the sensations of anxiety, invite it like a guest and chat with it for a bit. Anxiety is a normal experience and one that can come and go if you just befriend it.
• Balance is a key ingredient to healthy living. Make sure that you have a good mix of school, work, play, and laughter in your day.

And parents, consider trying some of these practices too! These are lifelong practices that can serve us far beyond our school years.